10 Practical Tips to Be Kinder to Yourself: Advice from a Therapist

We all have an inner voice that sometimes loves to engage in negative self-talk. It's common to hear that voice say hurtful things such as, "I look terrible," "I'm not good enough," or "I always mess this up."

Everything you say to yourself matters. Unfortunately, we all have negative things to say about ourselves at times, which can lead to a lack of self-confidence, emotional distress, and potentially depression or other self-destructive behaviors. It's important to squash the inner critic and change our mindset for our mental health. After all, if we're not kind to ourselves, how can we be kind to others?

Here are some tips on how to stop beating yourself up, from therapist Alex Greenwald (MHC-LP) of Empower Your Mind Therapy:

  1. Speak to Yourself as You Would to a Best Friend:

    • You would never call your best friend dumb or not good enough, so why do it to yourself? Practice talking to yourself with the same kindness and compassion you would offer a dear friend.

  2. Practice Loving Kindness:

    • Take time out of your day to say one kind statement to yourself. Simple mantras like "May I be happy," "I am good enough," or "I've got this" can reset your day in a positive tone.

  3. Do Things You Love Daily:

    • Allow yourself to enjoy activities you love at least once a day, such as taking a brisk walk, dancing to fun, upbeat music, or indulging in a favorite hobby. These moments of joy are crucial for your well-being.

  4. Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others:

    • Everyone is different, and comparing yourself to others is not productive. Focus on your own journey and achievements, rather than how someone else may have handled things.

  5. Flip the Script:

    • Challenge yourself to change the way you view a situation. Instead of saying, "I'm a terrible parent, I always yell," try saying, "I will work on my patience. I'm doing my best."

  6. Try a Gratitude Journal:

    • Write down three things you are grateful for or love about yourself every morning. This practice will set your day in happiness and confidence and remind you of the important things in life.

  7. Use Mindfulness to Stay Present:

    • Focus on the present moment and be nonjudgmental towards yourself. Don't dwell on what you should have done or what you could have done differently. Move forward with a clear mind.

  8. Ask for Support:

    • Talking through an issue with a friend or partner can help you find a solution or a healthy way of dealing with your emotions. It may also strengthen your relationship, and knowing you have unconditional support can improve your mental health.

  9. Engage with Your Inner Critic:

    • Confront your inner critic and remind yourself that these negative thoughts are not true. Replace the critic with a cheerleader and actively work on changing your mindset in real-time.

  10. Take a Break:

    • Sometimes, not doing anything at all and giving yourself time to reset is exactly what you need to feel better about yourself or a particular situation. Don't hesitate to take a break when necessary.

Remember, being kind to yourself is a continuous practice. By incorporating these tips into your daily routine, you can cultivate a healthier mindset and improve your overall well-being.

Leaura LucianoComment