How To Communicate To Get What You Want: 7 Tips From A Therapist

Emotionally driven situations tend to force us into saying things that we don’t want to say, or worse, not saying anything at all. Effective communication is important in building healthy relationships, standing up for yourself, and being heard. One way to help communicate your needs and wants more effectively, according to Therapist Imani Wilform (MHC-LP) of Empower Your Mind Therapy  is utilizing the acronym DEAR MAN, a Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skill.

The acronym is as follows:

·       Describe the facts of the situation.

·       Express your feelings and opinions surrounding the situation.

·       Assert what you want.

·       Reinforce to the other person why this will be helpful to both parties and to the relationship.

Do this by staying:

·       Mindful and ignoring any verbal attacks.

·       Appearing confident while doing so. Do your best to project an attitude of confidence. Make eye contact with the person you’re talking to. Stand tall. Try not to mumble.

·       Negotiate if needed. The person you are talking to might not be willing or able to agree with your first request, but you may be able to come to a compromise.

DEAR MAN is a helpful tool because it can sometimes be hard to stick up for yourself and figure out the best way to communicate with someone. DEAR MAN allows you to present your objective in a simple, straightforward way.